MANILA, Philippines -- Your wife asks this dangerous question as she steps out of the changing room in a fashion store seeking approval for a new dress. I learnt a long time ago, in my early married days on the other side of the world in England, that this question has no correct answer. If the dress looks great and you say so then your wife doesn't really believe you - what do you know? If you say that you like it when you do not, she will remember that when she changes her mind and blames you for her mistaken purchase. If you don't like it you have to be very careful what to say. Never say ''it makes you look fat''. Or, even worse ''it's too young for you''. In fact it's better to say nothing at all, just mutter something unintelligible, and hope your wife has the good sense to realise the problem for herself.
Go to any formal occasion and look at the expensive gowns. I like to see the line-up of elegant ladies. But some are not elegant. I guarantee that 10 percent of women are wearing disasters that do not suit them at all. Why is this? Can we blame their husbands and friends who were scared to criticise? Even so, you would think that the women concerned would be able to look in the mirror and see the disaster. Or are they blind - blinded by their faith in their designer? My own theory is that when some women look in the mirror they see, not their middle-aged selves, but a tall, slim, young model whom the dress really does suit. Or there may be more sinister reasons for the disaster. At one charity ball I said to a friend ''That dress is awful, the designer must be incompetent''. My friend replied ''You amateurs don't understand. She is such a bad customer that the designer hates her, so he deliberately made that awful dress for her.'' The lesson - be nice to your designer!
I am prejudiced because I come from a conservative and understated British culture, but I dare to suggest that there is a tendency in Latin cultures to overdo designs. Customers and designers alike are easily bored so they always want to add one more colour, one more bow etc. So it often adds up to too, too much. But who am I to judge? It's all part of life's rich pattern.
Isn't it an odd world that we live in?
