How to Speak Good English
Speak good English, by hook or by crook, even if it sounds longwinded, clumsy and moronic. Just because you feel paiseh to let on that you read PG Woodhouse and enjoy novels of literary value, is no excuse not to.
Doubtless, Singlish is more easily understood, more drama (die, die must speak) and can be pointedly sarcastic (you ask me, I ask who, leh?). It also expresses your cakesim mood much better (why you so like that). Nonetheless, you must speak “good” English, even if no one you know, does.
Have you heard anyone saying “doubtless”, “nonetheless” and “by hook or by crook”? Nobody, not even angmohs, use such phrases and outdated idioms any longer.
Goodness gracious, me, only pedantic schoolmarms think Singaporeans can’t tell the diff between “borrow” and “lend”. When Singaporeans are superbroke, they are not going to say, “You borrow me $5” which sounds confusing and stupid, even to uneducated ears. They won’t feel shy to ask you directly, “Can you lend me $50?” By the way, nobody, but nobody, ever borrows $5 nowadays. When Singaporeans borrow money, whether to buy 4D or to see their girlfriends in Batam, it’s always $50 or $100.
Hence, all these postcards printed by the Speak Good English Movement (people who got nothing better to do after a full meal or as the Hokkien-educated folk say, “Jiak par siew eng") are just meant for us to have a good laugh when we pick them up in a cafe while waiting for our java.
Posted by Flightstick on 01/17 at 04:05 AM
